Western Wellingtons

I believe there is and always will be a social stigma attached to the phrase 'arranged marriage.'  In the western culture in which we live, people automatically seem to envision a timid bride meeting the groom on the morning of their engagement and consequently being marched down the isle by her overbearing parents.  Certainly, the occasional horror story in the media has done little to oppress this image.  It seems it's only those who are immersed in the asian culture who really understand the procedure of an arranged marriage.

The 'arranging' is done by the parents or grandparents.  Or more often than not, the gossips in the family.  The gossip: that one person who knows everything about everyone.  It wasn't too long ago that one so-called gossip in our family arrived with a wad of 'CV's' which he enthusiastically placed in my cousin's lap, much to her disgust.  The pile contained a selection of worthy suitors living in India, or perhaps as the more cynical person would say: those looking for a one way ticket to the west.  My cousin couldn't dispose of them fast enough.

Yes, this is how it begins.  From a CV or conversation amongst family members.  It's a favourite activity for the elders who love nothing more than matching a son and a daughter within their network and tightening those family ties.  And then the wedding preparations can commence.  Amongst the younger generation, it seems to be a fate either dreaded or accepted.  Very few seem to want to fight it.  This is with the exception of my own dad of course, who was insistent on marrying my 'gorra' (white) mother in spite of Mumtaz, the asian bride my grandma had so readily picked out.  It is only recent experiences that have taught me how rare my Dad's decision really was and the strength that it would take to break away from those ancient family traditions.

But in spite of my experiences, it may surprise you that I'm not entirely opposed to the idea.  Certainly, it's a route I have and will continue to explore.  Sure, it's not the conventional way of meeting your future husband.  But having a meeting arranged by your grandma sometimes sounds slightly more appealing than shouting over drinks in a nightclub.  It's an interesting perspective on dating.  Although perhaps there are more surrounding family pressures.  But as long as you never pursue someone purely to succumb to your grandma's wishes, who is to say it's not a successful road to the happily ever after?

Personally, I am not even close to the mindset of being married.  There is so much I want to achieve for myself before becoming somebody's wife.  But the point I'm trying to make is that I believe it's important to be open.  It seems there's a certain snobbery that comes with living on this side of the world, even if it's only subconscious.  We tend to believe that eastern traditions are backward and inferior to our own.  But if given the chance to understand, we're giving our world a whole new dimension.  It's changing attitudes such as these that could contribute to the downfall of discrimination on a universal scale.  So instead of marching in with your western wellingtons, try embracing what the east has to offer.  And you may just be surprised.