Ice Ice Baby...

There's something magical about ice skating.  Especially at Christmas.  I like nothing better than gliding across a glistening white sheet of ice with a bit of Wham and Mariah Carey to get me into the festive spirit.  This is the dream.  The reality consists of me wobbling with hands outstretched looking like I've got an iron rod for a spine.  It's anything but smooth, and every time I struggle clinging to the side the same thought enters my mind: 'why did I do this?'

The fear of falling on your ass is the biggest worry for most people.  And I am no exception.  The sheer embarrassment of being on your bum in front of a neatly formed audience.  And then not being able to get back up again.  Painful in every sense of the word.

Now I'm no stranger to falling on my bum, literally or metaphorically.  Sometimes I feel like Wagner from the X Factor: purely in existence for the entertainment of others.  Yes, anyone who knows me will tell you I've had my fair share of blonde moments.  From eating raw noodles at a restaurant buffet to rolling pastry with an ice cream scoop,  it seems I'm constantly acting (and speaking) without engaging my brain.  And yes I do have a brain.  On paper, I'm quite the academic.  It's just reality I seem to have lost my grip on.

However as much embarrassment as these moments have caused me, I've learnt to laugh at myself.  Perhaps it's so others appear to be laughing with me as oppose to at me.  Some would say it's an alternative to crying.  But I just think it's so I don't take myself seriously.  Not too seriously anyway.  The fact is everyone messes up from time to time.  Everyone will have a turn being on their bum in the middle of an ice rink whether you're two or twenty two.  But we've all got to find a way of getting back up on our feet.

Once I realised this my 'embarrassing' moments simply became funny stories to tell the flatmates.  There really is no shame in getting it wrong.  And trying to be right all the time would be ridiculously exhausting anyway.  So I will happily continue with life Bridget-Jones style.  Someone once said that the definition of intelligence was realising how little you know about the world.  I feel I have come to this conclusion, which reassures me that I'm not stupid, just inexperienced.  And there really is nothing wrong with that at the moment.  As a wise person once said, living is learning.