The Cover and the Book

Now, I've never been the most tolerant of people. I'm judgemental, opinionated and often narrow-minded. It's been said that your first impression of someone forms during the first three seconds of meeting them. I probably don't even give them that. I'm not promoting this aspect of my personality in a positive light. It's really not something I'm proud of. But I feel this summer I changed for the better. I realised that I should cut people some slack. And they may just surprise you. What caused this change? What cured this intolerant, unforgiving attitude? Seven weeks in Uganda this summer with a boy that can only be described as the epitome of everything I hated. He was arrogant, rude, blunt to the point of embarrassment, a complete flirt and at times, selfish and inconsiderate. Yes, on paper this was my worst nightmare. How on earth could I survive seven weeks in Africa with this character? In any other situation, I honestly wouldn't have given him the time of day, let alone a conversation. But the situation demanded teamwork, cooperation and yes, tolerance.

I wouldn't call myself a prude but I'm certainly not a girl that finds sexual innuendos or even toilet humour slightly amusing. These kind of jokes are usually received with a frosty stare or look of disgust, alerting the joke-teller that this is not appreciated, or even acceptable to me. But I realised over time that asking him not to make innuendos or rude jokes was asking him not to be himself, and frankly being a flirt was who he was. It was unreasonable to ask him to change just because I felt uncomfortable. Yes, he could tone it down slightly, but I couldn't ask him to be someone he wasn't. It was only after I realised this, that I actually began to appreciate the person behind the front.

He was definitely unlike anyone I had ever met. His opinions and perspective were so far removed from my own that at times, I couldn't quite believe what he was saying. I learnt to listen rather than judge, understand rather than criticise, accept rather than dismiss. I don't think it would be an exaggeration to say that I've changed because I met him. He gave me an insight into attitudes that I would never have even attempted to understand before. One of the best things about this relationship is that I can still be myself but have a friend like him. It makes for some interesting discussions let me tell you. So I guess the moral of the story is not to judge a book by the cover. Give people a chance because you never know what you may find.